POINTS &

COUNTER POINTS

EMPOWERED BY RESEARCH

IRL Kids was inspired into existence by The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Heidt.

In the book, Haidt lays out the facts about the epidemic of teen mental illness that hit many countries at the same time. He investigates the nature of childhood, including why children need play and independent exploration to mature into competent, thriving adults. Haidt shows how the “play-based childhood" began to decline in the 1980s, and how it was finally wiped out by the arrival of the "phone-based childhood" in the early 2010s. He presents more than a dozen mechanisms by which this "great rewiring of childhood" has interfered with children's social and neurological development, covering everything from sleep deprivation to attention fragmentation, addiction, loneliness, social contagion, social comparison, and perfectionism. He explains why social media damages girls more than boys and why boys have been withdrawing from the real world into the virtual world, with disastrous consequences for themselves, their families, and their societies.

Most important, Haidt issues a clear call to action. He diagnoses the "collective action problems" that trap us, and then proposes four simple reforms that might set us free.

We highly recommend reading this book, found here. An article, written by the author himself, can be found here.

Further, Haidt has built a comprehensive “Take Action” guide for those who want to do more than just sign a pledge. He acknowledges it can be hard for one person, one family, or one school to swim against the tide of ever-increasing screen time, but if we act together, we can turn the tide.

After more than a decade of stability or improvement, the mental health of adolescents plunged in the early 2010s. Rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide rose sharply, more than doubling on most measures.

Why?

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE FOUR REFORMS FOR HEALTHIER CHILDHOOD

Parents should delay children’s entry into round-the-clock internet access by giving only basic phones (phones with limited apps and no internet browser) before 9th grade.

There’s strength in numbers. Link up with the parents of your child’s friends to commit together to waiting until high school (at least) before giving a smartphone.

Nostalgia is big right now; bring back the flip phone and sign the IRL Kids Pledge!

DELAY SMARTPHONES UNTIL HIGH SCHOOL

When folks say we need to delay the age at which children get smartphones and social media accounts, the most common response is: “I agree with you, but it’s too late.” It has become so ordinary for 11-year-olds to walk around staring at their phones, swiping through bottomless feeds, that many people cannot imagine that we could change it if we wanted to.

Yet we are not helpless.

Let kids get through the most vulnerable period of brain development before connecting them to a firehose of social comparison and algorithmically chosen influencers. Read the research proving social media is a major cause of the rapid rise in adolescent depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide since the early 2010s here.

DELAY SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL AGE 16 OR OLDER

ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENT PLAY AND RESPONSIBILITY

Children develop social skills and overcome anxiety naturally through independence and unsupervised play.  This means letting them do more activities and errands on their own, unsupervised, in the real world. From second or third grade on, kids can walk to school (ideally in a group, which is more fun), or they can walk or ride a bicycle to a nearby store to buy a few groceries. Teens can grab pizza with friends or get part-time jobs.

Learn more about raising independent, can-do kids here.

ADVOCATE FOR PHONE-FREE SCHOOLS

In all schools from elementary through high school, students should store their phones, smartwatches, and any other personal devices that can send or receive texts in phone lockers or locked pouches during the school day to free up their attention.

Policy changes follow public opinion.  If other parents in your kids’ schools share your concerns (and they do!), then gather them together to sign and send a petition to the school’s leadership asking for the school to go phone-free and to offer more free play and independence. When children are in school they should be paying attention to their teachers and to each other, not to their phones.

Check out the comprehensive research and common push-backs discussed by Away For The Day.